But A Vapor

Life.

How fleeting it is in the scheme of eternity, yet how tightly we cling to our lives. We grow accustom to our perfect little schedules and plans, forgetting that the bible tells us that we are merely traveling through this life.

Due to a recent death near our family, I have been forced to realize, for the millionth time, how fleeting my life is. I do not know the number of my days or the way my life is going to be. Proverbs tells us the man plans his ways, but the Lord directs his path. I have so many plans in my life. Yet, am I willing to hand God the security that I find in my own temporal plans and allow him to be completely sovereign? The cool thing is that God is going to be the sovereign and all knowing God he has always been whether I "allow" him to be or not.

Life, every breath and moment, is a GIFT! And just as the Lord gives us life in His sovereign majesty, He also takes away.

How different would I live, would I love, if I knew the number of days I have left on this earth? How much more fervently would I preach the gospel if I knew how many days my classmates, coworkers, and family members had left before the judgment seat?

"Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

"I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours."

So here will I live, loving others and proclaiming the GOOD NEWS of the gospel, until Christ brings me HOME(and may I add that I cannot wait to worship at the feet of my beautiful savior for ETERNITY!!!!)!!

"When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less day to sing God's praise, than when we've first begun!!"

simple prayers

It is hard to believe that I am nearing the end of my first collegiate semester. As I reflect on the semester and think about being thankful, I realize how the Lord has blessed me in many ways: amazing friends, a christian sorority, favorable professors, an ability to be open about my faith. I remember the first day of school, as I drove to my first day of a "real" school, I prayed that God would send me a friend that, just one, that was a strong christian and similar in core values. I continued to pray. Not a week later, I found, as I call her, my college best friend. Jordan Pence may not know that she was God's answer to my humble and simple prayer, but she is. God has used her to show me how to love others, how to love selflessly and fully. God answers simple humble prayers.

becky moments at college - day 4

for anyone who knows me, you will know that i am a doodler. no, i cannot draw, but i always attempt. growing up, my mom always got onto me for writing on EVERYTHING. from the water bill to the recipe book to my math book to my bible to the wooden slats under the bunk bed above me; if it was there and i had a pen, there would be writing on it.



one of my assignments for english composition was to read Stanley Milgrams "Perils of Obedience" and then annotate it. uh oh, dangerous: becky, paper, pens,....AND HIGHLIGHTERS! while reading, i managed to cover the entire front page with adorable little fishing poles and swirls. while they were adorable, and some of my best art yet, little did i know that i actually had to turn the paper in. i nearly crawled under my computer desk when mr. [writing teacher number 2] told us to pass up our annotated readings. here i am, a little freshy in college with bubbly fishing poles, in orange highlighter, all over my serious reading.



only becky.

Can one smile change a life?

On Monday, in the huge city of Monterrey, a group of 11 American girls, myself including, entered the huge gates of a local orphanage. After stepping through a guard shack, past a scowling guard, we were behind a 12 foot metal fence and in one of the most secure orphanages in Monterrey. After checking into the main office, we were on the tour, walking down a sidewalk to a open soccer field. My heart tore as I saw a young boy hugging the soccer goal and crying. I thought about how he had no one to hug him, no mother to tell him that it would all be okay. Had he ever heard the words "I love you"?
After the tour, we were brought past the soccer fields one more time on the way to the baby wing. This time, I saw a boy watching us from a distance. I smiled and waved at him. He threw his hands over his mouth and started jumping up and down, squealing in joy. I then wondered, can a smile change a life? Could one smile, infused with the love of Christ, be enough to make a love deprived boy feel loved and special?

Psalm 68:5 says, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling."

Deuteronomy 10:9 says, "He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing."

I praise a God who is the Father to the fatherless, who defend them and protects them. He will protect them, He will love them, He will bring comfort to the littlest baby.

SUMMMMEERRRRR!

There are so many reason that I am ready for summer to official start. Mainly, as of the beginning of June, I will no longer be in high school. Oh, how I am ready to be out of this drama greenhouse! But this summer holds so much promise. I am going to be down in Destin, Flordia for five weeks this summer with a Christian college ministry: Campus Outreach. Also, doors have been opened, and following a week long children's camp in Dallas, Sarah and I will be Mexico bound. I am so excited as I've watched God open doors I would have never thought to knock on. I know I will look back over this summer and see growth in my life. It's going to be a summer of growth, stretching, and lots of faith as there are many many unknowns!

I won't stop there. Upon return, I dive into COLLEGE! :) Bring it on....

Aaron Keyes

This worship leader is incredible! He's my new favorite for right now. He might not have the emotional, heart-pumping draw that the others have, but he is all about worship. Worship, not an emotional or spiritual "high", just worship with the creator of the universe. Not only did he lead me into worship, Aaron Keyes knew the bible and quoted from Deuteronomy to Hebrews to Esther to Jeremiah to Revelations and back again. What a man of God.

I woke up Sunday morning excited to face a beautiful sunny day, eager to attend church and then my monthly youth leadership meeting. I love my youth group and our leadership team is my second family. We've traveled together, laughed together, grew in the Lord together, faced tough times together, broke bread together....we've done alot together. But Sunday ending in a way I could never have imagined. I left the leadership meeting with a heavy and broken heart. My youth pastor had told us, amid a face of tears, that he was resigning and the Lord was leading him to another pastorate position in South Carolina. Words cannot describe my relationship with him and his amazing family. He has mentored me, loved me, taught me, corrected me, lived life with me for the past 7 years of my life.

So Sunday afternoon, my leadership team adding another "together" onto our list: we cried and grieved together.

While my heart is broken and my eyes are tired from tears, I know God has a plan. His plan is always perfect, and that's what I'm excited about. God has given me an overwhelming peace about this!

"Its gonna be alright!!"

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

Education is such a vital part of success in anyone’s life. Typically, the first 18 years of a person’s life is dedicated to education and learning. Yet, there are huge majorities of under privileged children and teenagers whose education hinge on their economic status. Without money, tutors and after-school programs are not an option.

Every week, I volunteer with an after school ministry that tutors children coming from low income homes. My tutee’s name is *****. When ***** was in 1^st grade, his reading level was one of a kindergartner, while his math level a little higher. After discovering that ***** was getting limited help in tutoring due to his parents late night work shifts and such, He was placed under my tutelage.

What good is an education if I don’t turn around and use my skills and learning to help others? ***** is now is third grade and progressing along with his other classmates. Without help in his education, He would have been held back and deprived of an education that every child deserves. It has been such an exciting journey to help him along the path of learning that will benefit him for the rest of his life! Not only has *****’s education been enriched, but in helping others, I have ultimately helped myself.

"We are Family!"

I am now announcing that we are expanding our family!!!

Now, before you go out and buy baby shoes, I will also announce that my mother is NOT having a baby, and we are NOT adopting. Rather, my brother got down on one knee and proposed to his sweet girlfriend. Yup, I am getting another sister! :) It is really exciting; a Clarke kiddo is finally getting married.

So now, lets start the hustle and bustle of wedding planning. :)

Something Beautiful

Ok, so call me a girl; I LOVE weddings! Its just a deep seeded love that in planted in just about every girl. Its incredible to watch two people, completely in love, "tie the knot". Yes, I'm a romantic, I guess.

This Saturday, I was the second shooter for a wedding in Marietta. It was an awesome experience to spend the whole day with the wedding party with the excitement and joy becoming greater as the hours clicked by. This Bride was gorgeous; it wasn't a beauty of the world, but rather a beauty that bubbled from the core of who she was. That's what beauty is: knowing and loving who you are on the inside and living for something other than yourself.

The Normal

upon coming home from church, i found this scribbled on scrap paper. i laughed and thought sarah was decidedly brilliant. all the credit goes to her...and she even might write a sequel, where i get to cool once more. B-)

~the normal~

My sister is normal in many ways because she takes normal showers, does normal school, and plays normal sports like tennis (if you can consider that a sport). I always thought she was normal sister too because she borrows my clothes, forgets to make her bed, and gets mad at me at least once a week.

It took me years, however, to discover that my sister is really not normal at all; she was just pretending. I also used to think Hannah Montana and Nancy Drew were cool until i found out that's who my sister was, except she is all put together and three times as amazing. Yeah, she's not normal at all.

I didn't ever think twice about her obsession with checking the mail every Wednesday or the fact that she worked as an "environmental engineer" and took frequent trips to the post office "for work reasons". Okay, you can call me dumb for not seeing the signs earlier, but you have to give me a break; I'm actually normal.

The material point is that I have a strangely unharmed sister using the postal service to do definitely abnormal things...and no one knows...except me. And I'm normal...

My sister is Nancy Drew

Air Mail

There is something intriguing about letters. Nothing can beat the feeling of opening up the mailbox to find (beneath the bills and junk mail) a hand written, hand addressed letter with a unique stamp in the corner. But not only do I absolutely love getting letters, I love sitting down and writing one. Writing a letter, for me, is therapeutic on a rough day; it must have something to do with being able to write down my thoughts and feelings, lick the envelope and then mail it away.

The other day, I was talking with a dear friend who commented, "You are such a great letter writer." Since it had been months since I had sent her a letter, that comment stuck with me. I began to think about how letters last; I thought about the whole stack I have in a box under my bed. Whole books containing letters have been published such as the missionary Paul's letters to the Corinth church, the church in Ephesus, as well as Paul's encouragement letters to the Apostle Timothy. While I have not written thoughts any where near as profound as Paul's, it makes me want to write letters that was turn yellow in age, ones that future generations will find and be changed by.

Friends, Love and Happiness

Lately, I have started asking my friends questions in order to get to know them deeper. I realized that many of my friends, people that I had grown up beside, were strangers to me. Relationships are like my body fuel, I live on it. It was scary in a sense to realize that besides a "how are you today?, I didn't know who my friends were, what drove them to succeed, or not to. So I have begun asking questions; "What person has influenced you the most? What is your end goal in life?" and so on.

So my goal in relationships is to stop talking about myself and discover who my friends are at their core. Its an exciting goal; I can't wait to start asking all my "20 questions."